Please Don't Make Me Go To School

from Participation Award by Jude Perl

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lyrics

Mum!
I can’t go to school today
I’ve got a really bad stomach ache
It hurts so much I can’t even stand up straight
Mum, please don’t make me go to school

I feel so nauseous and I’ve got this cough (cough)
One nostril’s runny, and the other’s blocked
My throat is soar, I can barely talk
MUM PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO TO SCHOOL

If you let me stay, home today
I’ll never ask you again for a super-nintendo
And twice a week
I will scrub the toilet seat
And I’ll dust all of dad’s weird figurines from El Paso

Mum, I can’t go to school, no please
Miss Lambert makes me run the oval till I wheeze
She said before I’m 25 I’ll have heart disease
MUM PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO TO SCHOOL

They don’t teach us anything
The music teacher can’t even play or sing
I’ll learn more from watching Ricki Lake or Jerry Spring…er
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO TO SCHOOL

Mum, obviously
You should just home school me
You could quit your job and we could just hang out like we used to!
Let’s face facts
I’ll never be good at math
And you’ve already got 2 kids getting straight A’s
Do you really need all 3 of us to pass 3rd grade?

And no it has nothing to do with
Tracy telling me I’m not allowed to sit with my friends anymore
Cause they’re starting a Spice Girls tribute band
And I’m not allowed to join
(You're not allowed to join)
Cause you’re only allowed to join the band
If you’ve got one of those matching rings they all have
(Matching rings yeah)
And I said Tracy where can I get one of those rings?
And Tracy said her mum bought them for her in Sydney last school holidays
Mum… How am I supposed to get to Sydney?
It just seems like an outrageous requirement
To join a band
Are they even a band?
Cause I’ve seen them rehearsing at lunchtime
And all they do is play the songs off Tracy’s discman and mime

And yes maybe Tracy likes to pull my earings out of my ears while they’re still in my lobes
I fainted in the sick bay cause all the blood looked really gross
Nurse Jan said there was no blood, I just imagined it
So she sent me back to my class and Tracy stole my George of the jungle pencilcase
And wrote mean things about me all over Brendan Fraser's face
On his chin she wrote on Monday 'Jude better watch her back'
And I guess today is Monday, huh, I didn’t even think of that
But no mum, that’s not why I don’t to go to school

Mum I can’t go to school seriously
I’m feeling faint from too much vitamin D
I’ve got this rash I think it might be leprosy
Please don’t make me go to school

All my heroes dropped out anyway
Like Christina Aguilera and LL cool J
I could be the next Kurt Cobain
Mum please don’t make me go to school

Mum please don’t make me go
Mum please don’t make me go
Mum please don’t make me go to school
(Please don't make me)
(Please don't make me go to)
(Mum please, please mum)
(I don't wanna go to)
(Can I have a new George of the Jungle pencilcase)
Please don’t make me go to school

credits

from Participation Award, released April 7, 2022
Music & Lyrics written by Jude Perl
Piano, Vocals & other stuff by Jude Perl
Drums, Guitar and other stuff by Mike Mills

Produced by Mike Mills & Jude Perl

Horn arrangement by Jeremy Diffey
Saxaphones & Flute by Jeremy Diffey
Trumpet, Flugelhorn, Trombone & Tuba by Eric Budd

Recorded, mixed & mastered by Mike Mills at Cool New Desk Studios

Brass & Woodwind Instruments recorded by Jeremy Diffey at Grooveboy Studios

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Jude Perl Melbourne, Australia

Singer-songwriter-comedian Jude Perl has established herself as ‘one of the most genuine, honest feeling performers going around’ (Theatre People) who presents ‘hilarious and painfully spot on observations’ (Plus Ones) mixed with ‘insanely clever and comical songwriting’ (Melbourne Observer). ... more

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