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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Jude Perl and the Saga of SugarHope Records, Participation Award, Making A Christmas Tree, Hey Hi Hey Hello, I Have A Face, Embrace (Soundtrack), Modern Times, Sorry, and 1 more.
1. |
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Mum!
I can’t go to school today
I’ve got a really bad stomach ache
It hurts so much I can’t even stand up straight
Mum, please don’t make me go to school
I feel so nauseous and I’ve got this cough (cough)
One nostril’s runny, and the other’s blocked
My throat is soar, I can barely talk
MUM PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO TO SCHOOL
If you let me stay, home today
I’ll never ask you again for a super-nintendo
And twice a week
I will scrub the toilet seat
And I’ll dust all of dad’s weird figurines from El Paso
Mum, I can’t go to school, no please
Miss Lambert makes me run the oval till I wheeze
She said before I’m 25 I’ll have heart disease
MUM PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO TO SCHOOL
They don’t teach us anything
The music teacher can’t even play or sing
I’ll learn more from watching Ricki Lake or Jerry Spring…er
PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO TO SCHOOL
Mum, obviously
You should just home school me
You could quit your job and we could just hang out like we used to!
Let’s face facts
I’ll never be good at math
And you’ve already got 2 kids getting straight A’s
Do you really need all 3 of us to pass 3rd grade?
And no it has nothing to do with
Tracy telling me I’m not allowed to sit with my friends anymore
Cause they’re starting a Spice Girls tribute band
And I’m not allowed to join
(You're not allowed to join)
Cause you’re only allowed to join the band
If you’ve got one of those matching rings they all have
(Matching rings yeah)
And I said Tracy where can I get one of those rings?
And Tracy said her mum bought them for her in Sydney last school holidays
Mum… How am I supposed to get to Sydney?
It just seems like an outrageous requirement
To join a band
Are they even a band?
Cause I’ve seen them rehearsing at lunchtime
And all they do is play the songs off Tracy’s discman and mime
And yes maybe Tracy likes to pull my earings out of my ears while they’re still in my lobes
I fainted in the sick bay cause all the blood looked really gross
Nurse Jan said there was no blood, I just imagined it
So she sent me back to my class and Tracy stole my George of the jungle pencilcase
And wrote mean things about me all over Brendan Fraser's face
On his chin she wrote on Monday 'Jude better watch her back'
And I guess today is Monday, huh, I didn’t even think of that
But no mum, that’s not why I don’t to go to school
Mum I can’t go to school seriously
I’m feeling faint from too much vitamin D
I’ve got this rash I think it might be leprosy
Please don’t make me go to school
All my heroes dropped out anyway
Like Christina Aguilera and LL cool J
I could be the next Kurt Cobain
Mum please don’t make me go to school
Mum please don’t make me go
Mum please don’t make me go
Mum please don’t make me go to school
(Please don't make me)
(Please don't make me go to)
(Mum please, please mum)
(I don't wanna go to)
(Can I have a new George of the Jungle pencilcase)
Please don’t make me go to school
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2. |
Sport Is Nice
02:26
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Sport sport sport is nice
I like to watch it happen
Sport sport gimme some sport
It’s been a few days since I’ve seen it
And that’s too long to go without some
Sport sport my favourite thing is sport
I just wanna hang out with my friends and watch it
And I will also eat some chips
While I am watching THE SPORT
But I think that my favourite thing about sport is
Is when people get the ball and they take it from one side of the thing and they move it to the other side....
Sport sport sport's the best
It’s my favourite thing ever
And how about the people who play sport
How good are they at sport!
Moving around
Kicking a ball
That's some good sports work sportsman
Sport sport’s is good
How long does this game go for?
That seems like a long time
But I don’t mind cause I love it
Sport sport sport is fun
A lot of people are yelling
Is that necessary?
Cause I don’t think they can hear you
And I understand you’re dissatisfied with a choice the umpire made
But I can’t help but feel that maybe you wouldn’t have been as upset
If it had happened to the other team
I think that maybe you might be blinded by how much that you love
Sport sport how good is sport
When the team you like gets points
But when the team you don’t like gets more points
Sport is not as good
Am I sortof getting the jist of it?
Cause to be honest I don’t understand why any of this matters
And everyone seems quite aggressive
I’m just here to try and connect with my father
Sport sport yeah yeah sport
Sport sport this is some good sport
Who’s my favourite player?
Well there’s so many to choose from
But I’d have to say it’s Matthew (incomprehensible)
Sport sport sport sport sport sport (etc)
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3. |
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You don’t know so don’t talk back
Get ready for a jack attack
Nothin’s gonna hold us back
We're stronger than a pancake stack
Cause we’re unstoppable
Nothing’s gonna stop us
We are non-stoppable
You can try to stop us
But we can’t be stopped
Jak 2 Jack is returned
We don’t know where we’ve been
But we’re back on the scene
Jak 2 Jack is returned
The world is not so whack
Now that Jak 2 Jack is returned
Listen up and listen good
We gotta make this understood
Don't mishear the words we say
The words we're saying here today
Cause we're saying words
And we want you to hear those words
The words we're saying now
You better listen to these words
Cause we say words so they can be heard
Jak 2 Jack is, we've returned
We're here to give you more
Even though we might have not been here before
Jak 2 Jack is, we've returned
Feel it in your sack
Now that Jak 2 Jack is we are returned
Check it out
Jak 2 jack, can you get that fact through your snack pack
We’re the new rat pack
Ready to blast that in your back fat
Who said that? Don’t back track
We’re quick and compact
Take a picture on your Kodak
Slip it on your roof rack
Tooth plaque can’t flick us back
You’d have to be insomniac to get our bricks to crack
Who's that in the cul-de-sac?
Go see a quack, it’s Jak 2 Jack
We're unstoppable
You'll never ever ever stop us
We're non-stoppable
You can try to stop us but we can't be stopped....
Jak 2 Jack is, we are returned
From Baltimore to Oregan
That's a flight that we've been on
Jak 2 Jack is, here we are
Turn the music
We like the way loud music sounds
Jak 2 Jack is, very much returned
We walked right out that door
But we're walking back through that same door
Jak 2 Jack is, arriving now
You're gonna miss us when we're gone
But we're the opposite of gone...
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4. |
Your Mum Told My Mum
02:26
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My mum told me
That your mum told my mum
That you told your mum
That I kicked you in to the drinking fountain
So my mum told me
That I had to call you
Because of what I done
When I kicked you in to the drinking fountain
So I’m SORRY
’m so SORRY
That you got hurt when I pushed you into the dirt….
Now my mum told me
That I had to invite you
Over on Saturday
To watch Mulan on our new projector
But don't tell anyone in class
That you came over, or that I asked
If you do I'll kick your ass
And push you into the drinking fountain
I'm SORRYY
Mum! I said I was sorry
It's not my fault, I didn't even push her that hard
I'm sorry, sorry
I'm sorry, sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry......
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5. |
The Monopoly Song
07:27
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It’s Wednesday night but it’s school holidays
I’ve never felt so free
My brother and I are staying up late
To play a game of monopoly
And I know that he always wins
But I’m feeling lucky this time
Dave prepare to meet FINANCIAL DOOM
Dave’s the top hat and I’m the shoe
We lost the dog piece and wheelbarrow
I roll the dice, a one and two
Pay 60 for whitechapel
I know that I’m on my way
I’m gonna own this monopoly game
Dave rolls 2 threes
And buys a light blue property
He rolls again, 2 ones
And then he buys another one
he rolls a 5, then he buys
Whitehall one of the pink ones
But I don’t care cause it’s my turn now
And it’s only the beginning
Just cause Dave bought 3 properties on his first go
I still have a chance of winning
I roll a 7 and land in jail
Dave gets Trafalgar and Leicester square
But I got one of the train stations
He buys Oxford st and then MAYFAIR!?
But I got another train station
Circling the board
My wishes seem to be ignored
Dave owns everything
Except for Old Kent Road
That baby’s mine!
It might not be much but it’s home
I said where can you go
When times get rough?
Just make your way down to old kent road yeah
Now it's time to make some deals
There's a chance my luck is changing
I've got an orange, red and green
Dave needs those for trading
And if I hold onto these
He can't put hotels on his properties
But he did say he'd give me a train station
And a get out of jail free pass
Dave if you give me the 2 red ones
I'll pay your next income tax
He hands me the cards I need
Now I know I'm gonna succeed
Dave, prepare to meet FINANCIAL DOOM
Dave now has 3 green houses on everything he owns
I can afford to do the same as soon as I pass go
But as I roll the dice my luck has changed
And now I’ve landed on park lane
Oh no, no Dave… I can’t afford to pay you right away
Oh please… I'll sell you the electric company
What else, let me see… I’ll mortgage Trafalgar and Fleet Street
That seems fair… Now we’re square
All I need is one stroke of luck
And then Dave lands on Whitechapel
Things are starting to look up
I'm still in this battle!
I roll the dice and land on Marlborough Street..
Oh no, Dave... I've been trying so hard to save
Oh please... I don't have any more money
You mean you'll forget it, if I give you all 3 red properties
That seems fair... Now we're square
Dave is eating caviar
And I’m stuck with soggy porridge
If I could just get through one turn
Without taking out a mortgage
What started off as good old fun
Has become a fatal conquest
Nothing could turn my luck around now
Not even winning 2nd prize in a beauty contest
I land on chance, then I go to jail
At least I’m safe in here
From that tyrant outside, I don’t have to fear
He can’t hurt me, I’ll stay as long as I can
I roll 2 fours and I’m out of jail
Oh no, no Dave… I landed on Marlborough Street again
I can’t… I don’t have any money in the bank
Oh no Dave… you were my brother...
How could you do this to me?
We’re family….
I think maybe this game is rigged
Cause I can’t control the dice that I roll
If you get a lot of luck at the very start
Then you will succeed
A little bit of luck will set you up
With all that you need
It’s out of your hands
Where your piece might land
The more you have the more you get
The more your wealth thrives
And if all you have is whopping debt
You’re just trying to survive
But thank god real life
isn’t like that
Cause this is just a game
It's totally different to real life
Luck doesn’t play a part in any financial success or stability that you might have...
We've been playing for 18 hours straight
So we'll leave it till tomorrow
But while Dave is sleeping I'll stay up late
And throw this fucking board game out the fucking window
Never look at that shit again
That's how Jude wins a monopoly game
If you don't like the game your in
Just throw that shit out when you don't win
Dave, Monopoly can fuck right off....
Until next school holidays when I forgot how much I hate playing this fucking game... There's only one thing about this game that's any good
And that's Old Kent Road
Where people say what they mean
Might not be too shabby for you city slickers
Come on down to Old Kent Road any time you're feeling low
Any time you're feeling high
Any time you're feeling medium
Old Kent Road, everybody's always welcome down here
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6. |
Participation Award
04:07
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My 3rd grade teacher told me
Life’s not a race
But sports day carnival, feels a lot like a race
Everybody's running at their fastest pace
But you know you get more stage time if you come in last place
All that counts is that you tried
But only 3 best runners get a prize
I don’t care for all the winners and ranks
What does it even mean?
The only reason that I lost this race
Is cause everyone else ran faster than me
And I was the worst basketball player
Every shot I took missed the backboard
But I showed up to every single game
So give me my participation award
My drama teacher told me back in 2004
There’s no such thing as small roles, only small actors
But if no ones contribution is worth less or more
How come some names literally take up more space on a movie poster
I tried out for Roxie Hart
But I was cast as ‘man with scarf’
I don’t care for all the lead roles with “lines”
Wearing costumes that fit like they should
The only reason I’m not playing that part
Is cause my audition wasn’t that good
But I was on stage, I stood where they told me
My character remained un-explored
But I showed up to Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday rehearsals
So give me my participation award
Everybody told me to try my best
From my grandma, to my horoscope, to my therapist
People love a story where hard work becomes success
But if you try and you’re still shit then no one’s impressed
You can do anything, if you don’t quit
As long you as you don’t mind being bad at it
I don’t care for being high class and rich
Showing off all of your wealth
The only reason that I’m stuck in this job
Is cause I’m not good at anything else
But if I play my cards right
I’ll live passed 60
And I’ll have blown what little money I have
I’ll be sitting alone
Watching Robot Oprah Winfrey
When my life before my eyes starts to flash
I showed up even when nobody asked me
I kept running when all the others passed me
I’m still dancing even though nobody cast me
I might not win, but I lose enthusiastically
So give me my
Certified
Bulk supplied
Participation Award
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7. |
Hamish
03:57
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You and I were in the same English class in twenty oh six
And you would draw pictures of girls' asses
And that’s when I knew that you
You Liked girls' asses
You sat there in your plain white tshirt
Between Tim and Susan
And I could see your nipples through your tshirt
I’m only human
How can I resist you
Hamish
Oh Hamish McMahon
The way that you'd sit in that chair
Hamish
Your pants were so low
I could see your turquoise underwear
Hamish
I’m falling for you
And you’re vain attempts at facial hair
Hamish
Hamish McMahon
I liked you because you were there
You played drums, and just listened to records
You liked Stanley Kubrick
You were always carrying a skateboard
But I never saw you ride it
But I bet you knew lots sweet tricks
Hamish
Hamish McMahon
I think that we’ve got a shot
Hamish
You know that it’s true
Cause we both quote Seth Rogen a lot
(Same sense of humour!?)
Hamish
Hamish McMahon
Your shark tooth necklace looks hot
Hamish
Hamish McMahon
Why won’t you give me a thought?
You dropped out of school in year 10
I never saw you again
But 3 weeks ago I was in Mornington
Singing at the wedding of your best friend
I saw you sculling 2 full glasses
Then you stood on the dance floor
And waited to grab the bridesmaids' asses
And that’s when I knew for sure
There wasn’t much more to
Hamish
Hamish McMahon
Now I know what happened to you
Hamish
Your fly is undone
And your girlfriend is yelling at you
Hamish
He works in real estate now
And has two kids named Zyler and Moon
Hamish
Hamish McMahon
You’re still the McBoy that I knew
Oh remember when
Remember when
Remember when you and AJ handed the same assignment into media class and the teacher was like “well I’m just gonna fail both of you if you both handed in the same thing” and each of you said the other one copied each other, and that was… I should’ve known then
Hamish
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8. |
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Um this is a song written from the perspective of my stomach...
Today is gonna be a great day
I can feel it in my gut
Cause that’s what I am
I am a stomach
So I can feel things in myself
If you know what I mean?
Not really, but that’s ok
Words have never been my strength
What with me being a stomach and all
A glass of water to start the day
Yum yum yum that’s exactly what I need
Alright you don’t have to drink it so fast!
And here comes another avocado smash
on seeded bread, with feta cheese
Alright that’s definitely a lot of cheese
You know, just cause there’s cheese left on the plate
You don't have to actually eat all of the cheese...
Here comes some coffee
I don’t know why she drinks this stuff
Coffee has no nutritional value at all
And now it's time to find a bathroom
Alright, now we're doing ok
As long as we eat sensibly for the rest of the day
HERE’S SOME MORE COFFEE
THIS ONE HAS 3 SUGARS IN IT
Just letting you know we don’t need any more coffee today
It’s time for lunch
How bout some vegetables?
Or I guess a fried chicken burger is also a good option
Might as well get the coke and fries as well
Alright now it’s been a couple of hours since she’s had something to eat
It’s getting closer to bed time
Maybe she’s just gonna have a glass of water then go to sleep
Why are you eating a toasted cheese sandwich at 11:30 pm
I’m sick of working the night shift digesting
When the rest of the body gets to sleep in, and...
What am I supposed to do with all this bread?
What am I supposed to do with all this bread?
Ohhhh, you keep on giving me bread
And I keep trying to get rid of it
But you just keep on giving me more
And you're not taking any of the cues I'm giving you
And I literally don't know what to do with all this bread
I’m gonna have to start putting it in your joints
Like in your knees
You’re gonna wake up in the middle of the night
And be like ‘hey... why can’t I bend my knees?’
And I’ll be like
'CAUSE THEY FILLED WITH BREAD'
Bread. Bread. Bread. Bread.
When I was just a little kid
Bread was at the bottom of the food pyramid
Now everything's gone awry
Even rye bread is no good, that's what they said
Oh I wish that I could just go back in time
Back when bread was on the top
And when I say top
I mean the bottom, where does the confusion stop
Oh bread, I used to depend on you
I used to depend on you
You were my best friend
You were my one and only true love
Now you just gonna walk right out that door like nothing ever mattered never before
Oh bread, bread bread
I thought you had some kindof vitamins or something
Bread
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9. |
Stand Up For Myself
03:50
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I spent my whole life living in fear
I cross the street cause I’m terrified
When there’s a magpie on my side
What have I become?
Can anything be done?
I must change my ways
Before it’s too late
I’ve got to..
Stand up for myself, say my feelings out loud
It’s so simple, and easy, and it came to me just now!
If my boss takes credit for work I did and nobody else knows
I’ll stand up for myself let’s see how that goes!
I never thought I was angry, I just thought I was scared
Scared of what I might do if I got angry…
Angry doesn’t seem to be a feeling that others like much
And I’d rather be scared than have people hate me
But why am I so scared if people hate me
It’s just so silly and dumb
It’s not like I’m in an industry where
The number of people who like me directly affects my income
So I’ll stand up for myself, speak my truth loud and clear
And if people don’t like it, I guess I’ll just make less money this year
When 6 drunk men aggressively tell me how much they hated my songs
I’ll stand up for myself, what could go wrong?
I’m gonna stand up for myself!
(Oooh she’s gonna stand up!)
That’ll change how I feel
(Mm she-bop-bop)
I’m sure brutal confrontations will make all my other problems disappear
If that voice in my head says I’m worthless and crap
I’ll stand up for myself and that will be that
From this day on I’ll make it my mission
To always tell the truth
Even when no one asked my opinion
They’ll say I spoke viciously
And I’ll say it’s just honesty
But deep down I know it’s just an excuse
And if you can tell me a quicker way to get energy
Than saying mean words to unsuspecting victims
Masked as constructive criticisms
Well I’d really like to hear it
I’m gonna stand up for myself
(Stand up up up up up up)
That’ll make me feel strong
(Make me feel strong)
I’ll stand up for myself even when no one’s done anything wrong
All my fears and insecurities are guaranteed to be gone
If I stand up for myself from now on
I’m gonna stand up for myself all night long
I’m gonna stand up for myself to everyone
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10. |
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I used to think that I could do it all alone
Never needed anyone
Nothing made sense when I was on my own
Till I found you girl
And we might be different colours
We might be slightly different shapes
You might be a flower or somebody’s eye
I might be a building or plain blue sky
But we fit together like a jigsaw puzzle
Falling into place without any struggle
Won’t you let me inside your edges girl
So we can find out what we’re supposed to look like
I used to think that no one would understand
My corner's getting rubbed wrong
Raw and exposed I needed a helping hand
That's when you came along
Tell me what did I do before I met you baby
I never wanna be apart
Now I see what I was meant to be
You're the missing piece of my heart
We fit together like a jigsaw puzzle
Locking into place with very little trouble
Can't you see how much I belong in you
We're both the girl on the bike in a picture of France
Girl there'll be times when the world tries to tear us apart
But we can just hold on tighter
Than we've ever held before
Even if our world is crumbling around us
Even if we get knocked on the floor
We fit together like a jigsaw puzzle
I know that you're the one
No matter how much we get shuffled
I got everything that you'll ever need
You can try and fit with some other piece
We both know that you'll always end up with me
Cause that's how the puzzle thing works
Jigsaw, we're a jigsaw puzzle yeah
We're like 2 in a million
... 2 in a thousand
Still a lot, a big chance of being together baby
Yeah
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11. |
Puffy Jacket
05:54
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Well it’s just your average lunchtime
I’m following an antline
This might be the longest antline I’ve ever seen
Tracy reaches in her backpack
Pours a Big M down my butt crack
For the rest of the day the ants are on me
Oh why grandma why
Are children so mean
Now my shirt smells like bananas and cream
Oh why grandma why
And this is what my grandma said to me
She said put on a puffy jacket
Cause the weather looks bad and it’s gonna get worse
Put on a puffy jacket
Cause the forecast today is a strong chance of jerks
Well it’s just your average work day
I’m cleaning out the paper tray
Even though technically that’s Tim’s responsibility
Tim has only been here
For just over 1 year
He’s already getting paid 3 times more than me
Oh why grandma why
Do people treat you differently
Cause of your gender identity
Is it my imagination?
Or is this discrimination?
Do I bring it up and cause a fuss or just let it be?
Or do I put on a puffy jacket
Cause it’s starting to rain heavy and thick
Put on a puffy jacket
Otherwise you’ll get soaked with other people’s bullshit
Put on a puffy jacket
The weather’s unstable and hard to predict
But if you’re wearing a puffy jacket
Maybe you won’t get blown away by it
But grandma, what if I’m the jerk?
Cause I’m only seeing things from my side
But if people do wrong, they should be called out
Ain’t that right, Ain't that right?
And grandma said what makes you think that you know what’s right?
And it’s your job to fix and confront
Everyone is out there trying their best
… But also sometimes people are cunts
So put on a puffy jacket
Don’t waste your breath when a storm’s bout to hit
Put on a puffy jacket
Cause bad weather don’t change if you yell at it
Grandma I’ve been wearing this puffy jacket
And now I’m anxious and sweaty all of the time
Cause when I’m wearing this puffy jacket
I’m expecting the worst of all mankind
And my grandma said
Put on a puffy jacket
When the weather is wild and out of control
But then take off your puffy jacket
Cause life is too short to always be in the cold
Put on a puffy jacket
When people are cruel and you need peace of mind
But you won’t always need your puffy jacket
Cause there are people out there who want to be kind
You might not think you have much power
Cause cruelty seems much louder
You fear that love and understanding you’ll never find
But if you listen closely
I think you’ll find that mostly
People out there want to be kind
There are people out there who want to be kind
There are people out there who want to be kind
I said put it on, your puffy jacket
Take it off, your puffy jacket
Put it on, your puffy jacket
Take it off, your puffy jacket
Put it on, your puffy jacket
Take it off, your puffy jacket
Put it on, your puffy jacket
Take it off, your puffy jacket
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12. |
Frederick
04:23
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Frederick, Frederick
I know your upset
Napolean has beaten us again
Frederick, Frederick
I hear your cries
And I know we gotta get some better soldiers and spies
Frederick I think I’ve got the answer
I know what we must do
Put your trust in me
And I’ll make you the best army
Take every 6 year old in the nation
And put em in a room with 30 other 6 year olds
And do that every day for a year
And do that every year for… 12 years
Take 1 adult to stand at the front of the room
And the front of the room adult tells all the 6 year olds what to do
If the 6 year olds don’t do what the front of the room adult tells them to
Then they will get in TROUBLE
Frederick, Frederick
This plan will work
Cause 6 year olds are easy to control
And we’ve got 12 years
To mold their minds well
And they’ll learn to love their country more than anything else
But just so no one gets suspicious
Here’s the next part of this plan
Put your trust in me
And I’ll make you the best army
We’ll pretend the 6 year olds are there to learn other stuff
Like oh yeah, no we really wanna teach them all how to read and write
Quadratic graphs, Pythagoras and how to climb a rope
And well make them feel bad if they get out of line
Or if they don’t learn everything at exactly the same time
But don’t you worry Frederick
Your children will be fine
Well make a special room
Where all the wealthy children can go
So they don’t interact
With the working class
And they will learn how to lead them to war
Frederick, Frederick
This plan is win win
Seperating families from their next of kin
So let’s begin
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13. |
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Hey yeah
Oh
Sport
Sport (sport sport sport)
Sport
Sport
Sport sport sport is nice
Sport sport sport is fun
Sport sport sport is good
I like to watch it happen
Oh
I like to watch it happen
Yeah
It's my favourite thing ever
Oh
How long does this game go for?
Oh
A lot of people are yelling
Sport
Sport
Slam Dunk!
Sport is nice
Sport is fun
Sport is good
SPORT
Sport's quite nice
Sport is really good yeah
Sport is fun
It's my favourite thing
Sport
A lot of people are yelling
Sport
I'm just trying to connect with my father
Sport is nice
Sport is great
I like sport yeah
Sport sport sport sport
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14. |
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My 3rd grade teacher told me
Life’s not a race
But sports day carnival, feels a lot like a race
Everybody's running at their fastest pace
But you know you get more stage time if you come in last place
All that counts is that you tried
But only 3 best runners get a prize
I don’t care for all the winners and ranks
What does it even mean?
The only reason that I lost this race
Is cause everyone else ran faster than me
And I was the worst basketball player
Every shot I took missed the backboard
But I showed up to every single game
So give me my participation award
My drama teacher told me back in 2004
There’s no such thing as small roles, only small actors
But if no ones contribution is worth less or more
How come some names literally take up more space on a movie poster
I tried out for Roxie Hart
But I was cast as ‘man with scarf’
I don’t care for all the lead roles with “lines”
Wearing costumes that fit like they should
The only reason I’m not playing that part
Is cause my audition wasn’t that good
But I was on stage, I stood where they told me
My character remained un-explored
But I showed up to Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday rehearsals
So give me my participation award
Everybody told me to try my best
From my grandma, to my horoscope, to my therapist
People love a story where hard work becomes success
But if you try and you’re still shit then no one’s impressed
You can do anything, if you don’t quit
As long you as you don’t mind being bad at it
I don’t care for being high class and rich
Showing off all of your wealth
The only reason that I’m stuck in this job
Is cause I’m not good at anything else
But if I play my cards right
I’ll live passed 60
And I’ll have blown what little money I have
I’ll be sitting alone
Watching Robot Oprah Winfrey
When my life before my eyes starts to flash
I showed up even when nobody asked me
I kept running when all the others passed me
I’m still dancing even though nobody cast me
I might not win, but I lose enthusiastically
So give me my
Certified
Bulk supplied
Participation Award
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Jude Perl Melbourne, Australia
Singer-songwriter-comedian Jude Perl has established herself as ‘one of the most genuine, honest feeling performers going around’ (Theatre People) who presents ‘hilarious and painfully spot on observations’ (Plus Ones) mixed with ‘insanely clever and comical songwriting’ (Melbourne Observer). ... more
Jude Perl recommends:
Unbelievable album. Every song is incredible, and so varied, yet so cohesive. Toehider (Mike Mills) is legit one of the greatest songwriters and musicians I've ever heard.
go to album
Incredibly moving, absolutely beautiful songwriting.
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supported by 4 fans who also own “Participation Award”
Perhaps one of the defining statements of the Tripes growing older, and doing so with panache and grace. MEN OF SUBSTANCE embraces the curse of the aged by leaning into everything they experience by making it sound like, "Yeah, we meant to do that." Adult Contemporary, Waiting for the Game to Load, and the full-band version of Lingering Dad help lift this album to heights some comedy albums just can't reach. I Am Beautiful is a fantastic bit for the fans, and DILF is a killer premise.
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A Sword of Holly (2018 VERSION)
by Flora
An ambitious pop song cycle about human loneliness and fear, thick with harmonies and buoyed by tight musicianship.
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Sounds Of Haejin
by Caroline Chung/Citizens Jazz
The veteran Oakland jazz artist presents her first full-length album made in partnership with members of Citizens Jazz.
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